I almost died from septic shock. I was always an active girl. I joined a club called Junior ROTC and I made friends who became like family. That club made me start to go on runs, and I also started to paint. Eventually I also picked up on reading. My grades also got better. Life felt like I was going on the right path, but there were some detours along the way. 

It felt good knowing what I was doing with my life. But even then, I still made some mistakes and they were not great and now I see that they were wrong. One day, I shared an inappropriate photo on my instagram story that caused me to get in trouble. My mom asked me why I did it, and I told her that I was looking for attention. I learned that just because I want someone's love or attention, doesn't mean that I need to get it in that way. Thankfully, I learned from my mistakes. But there was always something trying to creep in my life. 

School was great. It was a way for me to not be home, where things didn't always feel safe. I didn't like being home because there was always someone trying to start a fight. My mom always came home tired. The house always felt depressing or too quiet. Being in that club was a safe place for me. It filled me with joy, a warm feeling, like having friends who feel like family. They made me comfortable every time I went to afterschool practice.

One day everything changed for me. I got sick out of nowhere. Every time I ate something, I would vomit everything. I had a very high fever. I couldn't stand up for longer than a minute. I felt like my vision was getting blurry. My head was dizzy and I would smell sickness or the bad smell of pills. I couldn't even lay down or sit. I was just in the bathroom vomiting. My mom took me to the hospital but they told her nothing was wrong with me. I was upset because I knew that something was wrong but they just sent me home. I was still in the bathroom vomiting, crying to my mom, telling her that I couldn't handle it. My mom took me to the hospital again but this time it was serious. I fell unconscious. There were moments when I knew what was going on but it wasn't clear. All I remember was the ambulance telling me that they were taking me to a different hospital because this one was only for adults. They couldn't help me there, so they had to move me. After that, I didn't know what happened. I lost consciousness again. The last thing I remember was seeing my mom's devastated face.

The doctor told my mom that there was a 65% chance that I would make it out alive. They said it would be a miracle if I lived, because the sepsis infected my bloodstream and my lungs. My organs were shutting down. The doctors tried to keep my heart and brain alive. My body was swollen and they said it was possible that I would lose some limbs, like my wrists and feet. I did lose some of my fingertips and it did leave me with some scars, but my body proved them wrong. I survived.

Even though I lost my old life, there are different ways to look at life and from a different perspective. I appreciate being given another opportunity to make things better. Life can be a struggle but you can push through it. Sometimes people will bring you down and give you bad looks, but those are only temporary moments. There are times when I break down, but I learn to get back up and live a positive happy life, and sometimes joke around about my situation to brighten people's day. For those who are going through something like this, you're not the only one. I'm here with you.